Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Happy 21st Mischa Barton

Saturday, January 20, 2007

The Retarded Cow Diaries (what fire extinguisher shall I use???)

Yes bitches the retarded old cow is back! I bet you thought she died or something! Alas she is still fighting fit and retarded as ever.

Working in such an establishment as I do we need to have the right fire extinguisher, just in case someone is really retarded and lights a fire or maybe something other heats! I think you get the picture!

During your lifetime at our work place you will need to fill out several times a fire quiz which asked really dumb questions like "what do you do if you see a fire?" Look the other way! Or perhaps push the retarded old cow into it!

So we all get you have different extinguishers for different fires!




So when my manager pointed to the red one, what to do think the retarded old cow said she would use it on???


"i'll use the water one on water fires"


Dear lord please don't let there ever be a fire when she's around.

Monday, January 15, 2007

The Retarded Cow Diaries: featuring Hilly (this time last year)

Okay so I bet your thinking the retarded cow has done something really stupid again this week, well not yet. She had the day off on Monday when I was in so I'll have to wait until Thursday for anything really good.

However this week for the first time I bring you Hilly, she's trying to give the retarded old cow a run for her money today. Here's what the delightful teenager had to say:


"This time last year it was my Birthday"


Clever you! Yes friends Hilly is 18 today Happy Birthday sweetie. How the hell did you make it all these years???


Is it me or am I really a bitch??

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

The retarded Cow Diaries: featuring Betty (will they drown?)

Again I bring you news of another person, but it’s just as funny. This time I would like you guys to meet Betty, I can’t believe she comes from the same bloodline!

Let’s set the scene: My brother had some sea monkeys in the world’s smallest tank and all they seem to do is shit and swim all day long! The tank at this point is half empty. The ever helpful Betty comes out with the following:

Betty: Don’t you need to fill that with water?

Brother: Er.. Yeah I will.

At this point my brother has water for the tank.

Betty: Won’t they drown when you the poor the water one them??

Now I start laughing and my sister with her brain in full working order works out what she’s just said!
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